March 24, 2014
An Honest Post About Prayer
But no one ever said living the life of a believer would be easy. Jesus least of all.
So, I realized something about myself recently.
I'm not sure I believe in the power of prayer.
Yes, that sounds blasphemous. What I mean is...I know it's true. But I'm not sure I pray like it's true. I'm not sure in my heart of hearts that I really believe it makes a difference.
And that scares me.
I know there are all sorts of Bible verses and passages about how prayer changes lives, how when two or more are gathered, there the Lord is. I know He listens to our prayers, that it's good for us to pray so we communicate and build a relationship with Him.
I know all that in my head. And I pray, because I love talking to God.
But when it comes to praying for someone to be healed, or for someone's heart to change, or for there to be peace -- I hesitate.
I recently noticed this hesitation in myself and despised it. Because that's not what a Christian should feel, right? We should be offering to pray for others and praying that God would change us.
Here's the thing.
I ABSOLUTELY believe God has the POWER to change lives, to heal people, to ensure peace.
I'm just not sure how me asking for it makes a difference.
I know it does. The Bible says it does. So I believe it to be true (and that's not a blind faith...I've seen it happen).
But...I don't know. I still struggle. I think the root of that struggle is definitely the fact that I'm not naive about things. God will do what he sees is best, even if we don't understand it. He didn't heal my mom from cancer -- his answer to that prayer was no. Why? I don't know. I'm not God.
So it's hard for me to really ask God for something and expect him to change his mind. Because why should my asking for it switch his course of action?
I realize I'm opening myself up to criticism. Again, I'm NOT saying I don't think prayer matters. I know it does. But I still struggle with praying, because I'm still reconciling his purpose for prayer in my own life.
I know many times, the real purpose for prayer is to change us. To bring us closer to him. To remind us who is God and who is not.
I get that, and I keep praying because of it. It's only through communication with my God that I'll ever understand how all of this works anyway.
Your Turn: Have you ever struggled like I do? I'd love to hear a time in your life when you felt prayer made a difference!
*photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net