I'm also REALLY nervous.
I know, I know. This is very normal. I keep asking myself questions like...
- Will the delivery go okay?
- Will he be healthy?
- Will I have any clue what I'm doing at all?
- Will I be able to feed him like I want to?
- Will I be a competent mother?
And on and on they go...
It's enough to drive a pregnant woman crazy.
And then there's the matter of the weeks and months and years BEYOND his birth. How will my husband and I shape and mold him? How will we walk through potentially dark times? What if something horrible happens to him?
So yeah. I've been fairly eaten up with worry and fear.
But then...God reminded me of something. I've been reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts off and on for the last several months. The book and devotional very heavily revolve around the concept of thanks -- and giving it regardless of circumstances. It talks a lot about worry, stress, and fear too.
And from that book I've drawn this truth: That a lot of times, I'm so busy letting worry fill me up that I leave no room for joy.
Whoa. I don't know about you, but that truth smacks me between the eyes. Because the fact that I'm having a baby -- especially when so many friends I know have lost babies and/or have struggled to get pregnant -- is a MIRACLE. A blessing.
A joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.
So why, oh why, should I let that joy be overshadowed -- be snuffed out for lack of room -- by something as awful and soul-sucking as worry?!! Especially when worry does absolutely nothing? I have no control over what happens. God obviously does, and that's where trust comes in.
But joy...joy can do SO MUCH GOOD in my life.
It testifies to the world who I am in Christ. What I have, even if things aren't going the way I wanted them to.
And you know what? It's a choice. How many times have I made the excuse, "I'm just a worrier by nature"?? Too many.
Instead, today, in this season -- in every season -- I want to strive to trade my worry in for joy. If there's only enough room in me, in my life, for one of them, I want JOY to radiate through.
Your Turn: How do you overcome your worries and fears? Do you think it's possible to choose joy?
**Given the fact I'll be having a baby any day now, my posts for the next month or so will likely be sporadic. I'll miss you, but please have grace and be patient with me as I navigate the new waters of motherhood!